


Vulnerable

by JCapasso



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25084657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JCapasso/pseuds/JCapasso
Summary: After getting jerked around like a yoyo in 3x19 during the trip to Denver and Kansas, Damon realizes that his happily ever after might not be with Elena after all and he had overlooked what was right before his eyes.
Relationships: Alaric Saltzman/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 20
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying something a little new this time. My Delena fics are starting to feel a little stale so I'm switching it up.

The ride home from Kansas with Jeremy and Elena was spent in uncomfortable silence and once he dropped the Gilberts off at home, he headed for the one person that he knew might actually give a shit how completely wrecked he was feeling right now. After the way Elena had all but attacked him with kisses only to turn around and pull away the moment he reached out again, he was feeling used and betrayed. Unfortunately, the one person that might care was gone which worried him more than he expected. I mean, honestly. Dude was a vampire hunter and not that bad of one. If anyone could take care of himself it was Ric. Except he wasn’t himself right now. Not always anyway. After ripping Stefan a new one for losing him, he started trying to find him. 

He had looked everywhere he could think of, and called him a dozen times before he finally answered. “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all day,” Damon asked irritated. 

“Yeah, sorry about that. I just needed to get my head together,” Alaric told him, making sure to play it up despite how sick it made him to be talking to a vampire like they were friends. 

“So I take it Rebekah got the stake?” Damon asked, not letting on how suspicious he was. Ric didn’t dodge his calls when there was a potential emergency. Especially not for something as vague as ‘getting his head together’. If he had claimed that he didn’t know about the calls then Damon would just think that his alter ego had been in control and left it at that, but this…no. There was something going on. The only thing he could think of was to keep him talking and use his vampire hearing to pick up any ambient noise that could give him some clue. 

“I don’t know. I woke up alone and there’s no sign of it,” Alaric lied. 

“Lovely. What now?” Damon asked him.

“Well I think I need to get out of town. You know, somewhere secluded. I keep blacking out which means I’m still a threat to everyone.” 

“I don’t know if right now is the best time for you to be going on a spirit quest, Ric,” Damon said pointedly, now completely positive that something was up and making mental note of all background noise to try and piece together later. Going off alone was the absolute worst thing he could do without knowing which side of him would be in control at any given time and Ric would know that. That meant that he wasn’t talking to his buddy Ric. He was talking to the psycho killer side. That or Ric was being held hostage and forced to say what he did. Either way, every word he said was likely a lie. Which mean that he was definitely going to be in town for whatever he had planned. 

“Nah, it’s just for a couple days. I’m stocked up on Bonnie’s herbs so I should be fine. Uh…I gotta go,” he said as he hung up. 

Damon lowered the phone from his ear with a suspicious look as he tried to figure out what was going on. The herbs clearly weren’t helping so Ric wouldn’t have assumed that they would, which was just another sign that something was off. He started trying to piece together the sounds that he heard in the background. The echo was way off which meant he wasn’t in his apartment. He was in a large open space somewhere. He’d heard footsteps in the background. Heels, definitely. There had been air brakes which probably meant a bus. Granted there were other options, but a bus would help him narrow it down the fastest. If he struck out there he could consider other options. 

Damon pulled up the bus map and checked the time and bingo. There was a bus going by the building Klaus was using to store the coffins, which meant the heels were Rebekah which meant Ric was a hostage. He headed directly there, hoping he was in time before they moved and managed to catch Ric just as he daggered Rebekah. For a moment he almost thought he was in the clear, but then he noticed Esther in the coffin and she was starting to wake up. Right after Rebekah was daggered. Uh-oh. This wasn’t good. The most likely explanation was that mama original had been body hopping which meant that he was dealing with psycho killer Ric working with her to kill all vampires. 

There was only one thing Damon could do. He used his vampire speed to pull the dagger from Rebekah stab it into Esther’s heart and then replace it in Rebekah before she could wake up. No need to leave a potential threat at his back and there was no telling if Esther was still connected to her body so soon after the switch. At least he was reasonably sure that she couldn’t hop into anyone else’s body. “What the hell did you do?” Alaric asked as he lunged at Damon. 

“What I had to do,” Damon said and, after checking to make sure that Ric was still wearing his ring, he snapped his neck. The last thing he needed right now was a fight when he was trying to break Ric out of original central. He was doing what he damn well should have done the moment this mess first started. If he hadn’t been so involved with the whole Stefan and Elena love triangle he was mixed up in. He was going to be the friend he should have been all along. He hoisted Ric’s body up onto his shoulder and carried him out to the car and started high tailing it to Chicago. 

He knew that Ric had been staying dead longer each time he died, and he hoped that he would last out the seven hour drive, and ended up getting lucky. Finding Gloria had taken a while and if it hadn’t been for his vampire reflexes, driving at the speeds he was and checking his phone would have seen them both dead for real. He pulled up at Gloria’s new digs and moved Alaric to the trunk, where it would take him a while to get out. Losing him in Chicago if he happened to wake up would not be a good thing. Once he was sure that his friend was good and secure, he headed into the bar. 

Gloria took one look at him and made for the exit, but Damon blurred in front of her before she got there. “Look, I don’t intend to spill your secret. I just need your help.” 

“Is my help the price for your silence?” she asked suspiciously. She normally didn’t mind killing anyone, but she always had a soft spot for Damon. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t kill him if she had to, but it did mean she was willing to make a reasonable offer to avoid it. 

“If it has to be. But I would rather we talk like the old friends we are,” he said charmingly. 

“Hmm,” she looked him up and down. “How about I hear what you need help with before I decide?” 

“Do you have somewhere more private we can meet?” Damon asked with a smirk. She led him to a back room with an outdoor entrance and Damon nodded before blurring out and returning with the still dead body a moment later. 

“I don’t do resurrection,” Gloria told him when she saw the body. 

“I don’t need you to,” Damon chuckled. “That ring he’s wearing will resurrect him soon enough and that’s part of the problem. See that ring is screwing with his head. It’s basically split his personality and when he sleeps a psycho killer personality comes out. Every time he dies it gets worse.” 

“And what makes you think I can help with this?” Gloria asked him. 

“Because you’re the best witch I know and this is a magical problem,” Damon pointed out. “We had another witch trying to help, but she’s young and untrained, so I looked for an expert.”

“And how did you know I was still alive?” Gloria asked suspiciously. 

“Please,” Damon gave her a sultry grin and stepped close to her. “You haven’t survived as long as you have by being sloppy. You wouldn’t put yourself in that position unless you had an escape plan. A way to cheat death.” He leaned in and let his breath ghost over her ear as he whispered, “You forget how well I know you.” 

“If I help you, you will let me bind you to your promise to keep my secret,” she told him. 

Damon winced but nodded. “If that’s your price,” he agreed. 

“Oh no, darling. That’s my condition. My price is much higher,” she smirked as she wrote an amount on a piece of paper. 

“Don’t you think that’s a little steep?” Damon asked flirtatiously. 

“Not at all,” she said smugly. “See, if you’re here laying it on /this/ thick? That means you’re desperate. And desperation costs a pretty penny in this business.” She had lost everything when she had been /killed/. Starting over wasn’t cheap. And it wasn’t like a Salvatore couldn’t afford it. 

“Fine. I’ll pay and you’ll put him back to normal,” Damon grit his teeth. 

“Oh no, honey. That’s just for the diagnosis. When I know what, if anything, needs to be done, we can haggle about that price,” she chuckled. Damon’s face twitched in annoyance. The kind of look that generally preceded a rather violent death. “Now, now. None of that. Remember I can kill you just as easily as you can kill me and I always have an escape hatch,” she reminded him amusedly. “Now…do we have a deal?” 

“Yes, we have a deal,” Damon all but snarled.


	2. Chapter 2

“Excellent,” she smirked. “Now…I can’t do anything until he wakes up, so why don’t you just take him up down those stairs and make sure he’s secure and then let me know when that happens.” 

Damon nodded curtly and carried Ric downstairs, wincing at the setup, but securing him in the restraints anyway. If psycho killer was the one to wake up they’d need them. If not, Ric would understand. It took another three hours for him to wake up and when he started struggling in the restraints, Damon went over and looked at him scrutinizingly. “Are you Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?” 

“If I said Dr. Jekyll would you even believe me?” Ric asked wearily. 

“Probably not,” Damon admitted. 

“What the hell is this? A torture chamber?” Ric asked incredulously as he looked around. As long as Damon was here he knew he wasn’t going to be killed. Not permanently anyway and torture would at least be a last resort. 

“I decided to bring you to see a real witch. One who knows what she’s doing. If anyone can get rid of this crazy crap it’s her,” Damon told him. “We were just waiting for you to wake up so she can do her thing, so I’ll go get her.” 

Ric nodded, despite the fact that Damon was already gone and he tried not to let the creepiness of the location freak him out. It was about ten minutes before Damon got back. The witch looked him over but didn’t say a word before she started chanting. He did wish she had been a little less violent with the cut on his arm as she took his blood and started chanting over that too, but at least she was trying to help. When she pulled back his eyelids and looked into his eyes with the whites of hers it was more than a little unsettling, but he endured, always conscious of Damon’s presence leaning against the wall in the corner.

When she took a step back, she still didn’t address Ric at all. She just grabbed a pencil and paper and started writing before holding it out to Damon, who stepped forward and took it with a suspicious look. “That is what it will take for me to fix him.” 

“This is extortion,” Damon snapped. 

“If you want the best, then you have to pay for the best, honey. And like I said, desperation comes with a pretty high price tag. Take it or leave it, but that’s the deal.” 

“Fine. I’ll be back as soon as I can with the supplies. And he /will/ be in this same condition when I return,” Damon warned her and she nodded. Damon turned to Ric then. “I’ll be back soon, buddy. Hang in there.” 

The witch had left when Damon did. At least he was relatively sure that she left. There was a lot of the room that was out of his line of sight, but he didn’t feel the prickling feeling of being watched and didn’t sense another presence in the room. That was something that he’d gotten pretty good at since he got involved in the supernatural world. He wasn’t sure how long he was left there with nothing but his thoughts for company, but at least they were interesting at the moment. 

Something must have happened for Damon to go this far. Something big. He wished he could remember what. The last thing he remembered he was in the Salvatore cell. He wasn’t even sure what day it was. He hated being out of control like this and desperately hoped this witch could fix it and she wasn’t just selling Damon a load of crap. If she was charging him enough for him to call it extortion, then she was probably on the up, at least. Though that opened up another can of worms. He knew that he was probably Damon’s best friend, for all that he wished for more, but he had never expected Damon to go so far to help him. Desperate the witch had called him. Desperate enough for her to jack up the price and desperate enough to pay it. When they got back, Ric was then put through the most grueling experience of his life. 

Damon winced more than once at Ric’s screams as the witch undid the magic that was working over him. Those sorts of things never bothered him, but this was Ric they were talking about. Yeah, he’d killed him a few times now, but it was always quick and painless. Even before they became friends. This was just torture and only the fact that he knew Gloria so well was keeping him from stopping it. She took far too much pride in her craft to sell him a lemon. 

Once it was over, Gloria turned to him and said, “It’s done. And the nature of the spell means that any further deaths will not affect him like that again.” She held out her hand for the payment. 

Damon handed over a large stack of cash and hesitated a moment before he pulled off his daylight ring to place on top of it. “We good?” he asked tightly. 

“Just a minute,” she told him and took her time counting the money before nodding. “We’re good.” 

Damon rushed over and unstrapped Ric from the table and helped him back upstairs and out to the car. Once they were on the road, Ric had recovered enough of his strength to talk. “She’s not a good witch is she?” 

“She’s very talented if that’s what you mean,” Damon chuckled. 

It wasn’t, but it was enough of an answer to his question to know that he didn’t want to know any more. “And you’re sure that she did what she said she was gonna do?” Ric asked hopefully. 

“Positive. Otherwise she wouldn’t have charged me an arm and a leg for it,” Damon huffed. 

“Look, I don’t know how I’m ever gonna manage it, but I’ll find a way to pay you back…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Damon told him. “This was at least partially on me anyway with how many times I killed you.” 

“You gave up your daylight ring for it?” Ric asked, trying to figure that part out. The money was one thing, but he knew what that ring represented to Damon. Freedom. Anonymity. Even his life.

Damon shrugged. “I can get Bonnie to make me a new one. But it does mean we’re gonna have to stop halfway home. There’s not enough time to make it before the sun comes up.” 

“That’s fine,” Ric told him. It would be in pretty poor taste for him to complain anyway, and honestly, he felt like he could sleep for a week. 

It was only a few hours before they were pulling into a motel and Damon paid cash for a room, not wanting any record of him being out of Mystic Falls at the moment. Once they were in the room, both of them passed out in no time. It was still light out when they woke up so they were still stuck for at least a few hours. “How are you feeling?” Damon asked Ric. 

“Pretty good. A little sore. That witch sure did a number on me, but murderous thoughts, so that’s a plus,” Ric chuckled. 

“Good. I’m glad to hear it,” Damon said relieved. “You feel up to going out to grab us some whiskey? I don’t know about you but I could use a few drinks right now.” 

“Sure, buddy. Long as I can take your car.” Damon tossed him the keys. “I’ll be back.” 

Now that the crisis was over, Damon was free to lose himself back in his thoughts of Elena and this whole jerking him around thing she was doing. By the time Ric got back about twenty minutes later, he had worked himself up into a mood again, and took a long swig directly from the bottle as soon as Ric handed it over. “Wanna talk about it?” Ric asked worriedly sitting on the bed next to Damon, knowing that he was just setting himself up for heartache again, but unable to help it. 

“Just Elena drama as usual,” Damon rolled his eyes. 

“Something about your road trip?” Ric guessed sympathetically. 

“Did you know the whole secret reason behind it?” Damon asked accusingly. 

“If you mean that she was trying to use the trip to figure out if she had feelings for you, then yeah. I found out right before you guys left,” Ric told him. “I’m guessing it didn’t go well.”

“If by not well you mean that I got jerked around like a fucking yoyo then yeah. Not well,” Damon snapped. 

“What happened?” 

Damon told him the whole story. The kiss. The pulling away the next day. Her waiting for him to screw up so she didn’t have to decide. “It’s almost like she’s /trying/ to push me over the edge. To make me snap. To prove to her that I don’t deserve to be loved.” 

“Of course, you deserve to be loved,” Ric said seriously. He couldn’t let Damon continue thinking that for a minute. Not when he was already so loved and had no idea. 

“Right. Tell that to her. Or to Katherine. Or to anyone really,” Damon scoffed. 

“Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places,” Ric suggested as the bottle was passed back to him and he took a long drink.


	3. Chapter 3

“And where should I look then, oh wise one,” Damon asked sarcastically. 

“Maybe try someone available for a start,” Ric partially joked getting an amused snort from Damon. “Someone who knows who and what you are and accepts you anyway. Maybe figure out what it is that draws you to Elena and find someone else with the same qualities.”

“Oh there’s nothing to figure out there,” Damon huffed. “But there aren’t exactly a whole lot of people out there that think I’m worth fighting for. Or worth saving. Not to mention ones that know and accept me. You might as well be asking me to find a needle in a whole planet of haystacks.” 

Or you could open your eyes and look right in front of you, dimwit, Ric managed not to say. How many times had he fought at Damon’s side by now? Sure they had a rocky friendship, but that was just because Damon had a habit of being an ass. The fact that Ric always forgave him for it and came back should mean something. “You /are/ worth fighting for. And worth saving,” Ric rolled his eyes trying to keep it casual. 

Damon huffed a laugh. “Too bad you’re not into guys though,” he half joked. 

“Who says I’m not?” Alaric asked, taking another long swig of the bottle. This was getting into uncomfortable territory now. “Why? Are you?” 

Damon tilted his head curiously, wondering if this was going where it seemed like it was going. “I’m a little too old and addicted to pleasure in /any/ form to have those kinds of hang-ups.” 

“Yeah…well…I happen to see beyond gender to the person underneath,” Ric shrugged, unable to meet Damon’s eyes now. 

Damon narrowed his eyes scrutinizingly at his best friend as he considered his next course of action. The mostly empty bottle of whiskey didn’t bode well for his train of thought, but he tried. He fell for Elena because she saw something worthwhile in him which was so very rare, but so had Ric. He hadn’t even let himself consider the possibility before due to his apparently erroneous idea that Ric was completely straight, but now…he could definitely see the potential. If he wanted to risk losing his best friend if this blew up in their faces. Oh who was he kidding. Rash friendship ending impulsive decisions were his trademark. 

Damon reached his hand to Ric’s neck, cradling his jaw and running his thumb over the harsh stubble on his cheek. When Ric’s eyes met his with a curious and even vulnerable look, Damon knew that he’d read the situation right. Even more so when Ric’s eyes darted to his lips and back as Damon leaned forward. He needed to see if there really was potential for more than just a quick fuck though which is why when their lips met, Damon kissed him soft and slow, making it more about emotion than lust and the moment Ric started kissing him back, Damon knew that he’d been an idiot. He’d missed everything that was right in front of him chasing a dream he could never have. 

Ric knew exactly what Damon was searching for with that kiss, and it was everything that he wanted too so he had no problem pouring his entire heart into it. It was so much easier than saying the words at least. So easy, in fact, that it completely caught him off guard. He’d known that he was in love with Damon for a while, but he had always expected being with him to be more like an uphill battle, but this was just…like coming home almost. When it ended and Damon pulled back it almost felt like a part of him was missing. Like Damon had taken it with him. 

Damon left his hand on Ric’s neck, thumb tracing over his cheek again and his face only a few inches away, as he gave a wry smile and said softly, “You know…this is usually the part where I say goodnight and walk away.” To see if he was stopped, he didn’t add. 

“Then I’m glad you don’t have your ring right now. Because I don’t want you to walk away,” Ric took a big chance by saying, glad that he’d had so much to drink because that was the only way he had the courage to say that. 

Damon’s smile transformed into something much happier as he leaned forward and captured Ric’s lips again, this time stronger and with more passion. When he felt himself being pressed back on the bed, he took a minute to set the almost empty bottle on the nightstand between the beds before he allowed it. 

Ric didn’t even have to think about how to do this. He knew that Damon would enjoy the hell out of energetic and rough and probably even come back for more, but that wasn’t what either of them really wanted here. What Damon craved more than anything else was love, and by god Ric was going to show him just that. It had been years since he’d been with a man, but between the whiskey and how right Damon felt, he wasn’t nearly as nervous as he would have been. He felt Damon’s hand slip into his hair as the other one slid down to his ass in a very clear invitation to keep going and Ric wasn’t about to turn it down. 

Damon let out a moan when he felt Ric’s erection rubbing against his own and pressed his hips up to meet him, pulling a moan from Ric as his lips moved down over Damon’s jaw interspersing light nips all the way to his neck. Damon pulled Ric’s shirt open and slid it off his shoulders, sliding his hands through the thick hair on the larger man’s chest as Ric took his time unbuttoning Damon’s shirt slowly. When Damon sat up to strip it off their lips met in another long heated kiss. 

Ric gave it a moment before pressing Damon back on the bed, taking the time to revel in the skin contact as their jean clad erections slid against each other and both their hands roamed over every inch of the exposed skin. Ric’s lips resumed their downward trek, kissing and licking and nipping over Damon’s neck and shoulders before his tongue flicked Damon’s nipple, pulling a whimpering moan from the vampire. Ric was in awe of how responsive Damon was. It was like every touch set him on fire. He wondered if it was a vampire thing or a Damon thing before he decided that it was probably a little of both. 

By the time Ric continued moving down from Damon’s chest, they were both breathing heavily. Ric’s hands moved to the front of Damon’s pants as he lathed sloppy open mouth kisses over the toned stomach and Damon’s breathing sped up even more. Damon quickly lifted his hips to allow Ric to remove the last of his clothes and when he felt the warm mouth wrap around his leaking member, his back arched off the bed with a guttural moan and his hand slid back into Ric’s hair. Ric pulled off him to breathe out, “Not too rough. I’m a little out of practice.” Damon didn’t respond verbally but the hand in his hair loosened and Damon moved more towards guiding than pushing. 

Ric slid his hands up Damon’s legs, spreading them further apart and Damon gladly opened wide, prompting Ric to pull out his wallet and the small pack of lube he kept there. He slicked up his finger and slid one into Damon’s impossibly tight hole, taking a moment to find the sweet spot that had Damon arching off the bed again with a cry of, “God, Ric, yes!” He sucked Damon slowly, reveling in the responses he was getting before he slid a second finger inside and started scissoring him open. It wasn’t long before Damon was pulling him back up and Ric got the hint, quickly shucking his own pants and lubing up his aching cock. 

He lined himself up and gave Damon a moment to stop him before he began sliding slowly past the tight ring of muscle, fighting to hold himself back from just slamming in. God, he’d forgotten how good this felt. He slotted his lips back over Damon’s as he bottomed out, giving the vampire a moment to adjust and Damon kissed him back eagerly before lifting his hips in an entreaty to move. “Shit…Damon…” Ric breathed out as Damon’s lips moved over his jaw and neck and shoulders while his hands roamed over everything else. 

Damon completely lost himself in the sensations as he realized that he’d found everything he had spent so long looking for and in the most unlikely place too. He actually felt wanted for the first time in forever. Wanted for more than just his body anyway. Wanted for /him/. Accepted just the way he was and he wanted nothing more than to prove to Ric that he was too. When he felt the strong hand wrap around his cock, he thrust up into it, knowing that he was just as close as his lover was and when Ric gasped his name as he blew, that was all it took for Damon to spill over as well.


	4. Chapter 4

Ric stilled over Damon and leaned his forehead against his as they tried to catch their breath. Damon’s hands continued to roam gently over Ric’s back and ass as they both lost themselves in the moment. Once he felt like he could do so without passing out from lack of air, Damon tilted his head up and kissed Ric soft and slow. “So how come you’ve never given me such good relationship advice before?” Damon let the half joke cover up the real question he was asking. 

Ric smiled as he brushed his knuckles over Damon’s cheek. “Because I never thought you’d accept it,” he answered in an almost whisper. 

“All I’ve ever wanted was to be loved,” Damon admitted, blaming the alcohol and the endorphins for the blunt statement. 

“You are,” Ric replied, barely audible. 

Damon closed his eyes against the wash of emotion, suddenly glad for the slip of the tongue, as he tilted his head up for another gentle kiss that Ric sank into. “So are you,” Damon whispered. He wondered how he could have been so blind as to miss it. He’d latched onto the first person to see something worthy in him and completely overlooked everything else. Every/one/ else. It was like the moment he let himself consider the possibility everything just flooded into him like a tidal wave. 

Ric’s breath hitched at Damon’s words, but he didn’t dare believe what Damon was implying. Not when he had just been moaning about Elena less than an hour ago. He knew better than most that sex sometimes made you say crazy things. Something about the chemicals in the brain going haywire. “We should clean up and hit the road,” Ric said, trying to keep his voice casual. “It’s dark enough now.” 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Damon sighed and let him go. “There’s still a long way to go. Especially if we want to get to sleep at any kind of reasonable time when we get home.” Ric moved off of him and headed for the bathroom and Damon followed, looking appraisingly at the shower. “I know it’s a little on the small side, but I’m sure we could both fit…if you wanted.” 

Ric couldn’t help but smirk. “It would save time,” he chuckled. 

Damon gave him another quick kiss before starting to set the water. By the time they were clean they were both cursing the small shower. “Next time we do this, we’re using my shower. It’s much more equipped for two people,” Damon laughed. 

“I look forward to it,” Ric grinned. 

It was a little after midnight by the time they pulled into Mystic Falls and the doubt had started to settle in for both of them. Not about their own feelings. They were both relatively certain of that, but neither of them could be sure of the other’s feelings. Damon still felt unworthy of love and Ric didn’t believe that Damon was over Elena in the slightest. “You want me to drop you at your apartment or come back to the boarding house?” Damon asked. 

“Given that my last experience there was in a cell, I think I’d rather sleep in my own bed tonight,” Ric chuckled. 

“Fair enough,” Damon said as he took the turn to head that way. He still couldn’t resist pulling Ric in for one more kiss, despite his doubts, before he got out of the car. Damon watched him head inside before pulling out and heading home. 

Ric got into his apartment and leaned back against the door with a sigh, barely resisting the urge to bang his head against it. So he’d slept with Damon. The vampire that he was madly in love with that happened to be madly in love with someone else. God, it had been amazing though and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. If nothing else, it had shown Damon that he was worthy of more. He hoped. And judging by the way Damon had kissed him when he dropped him off, he wouldn’t be opposed to more. He knew that the minute Elena called, he would be nothing but an afterthought to Damon though. Could he really set himself up for that? Did he even have a choice? 

He was completely helpless against Damon Salvatore. He’d proven that time and time again. Hell, Damon had literally killed him just because he was in a bad mood and he still came back for more. But then Damon had pulled out all the stops to help him. Paid god only knows how much money to an evil witch to cure him and even gave up his daylight ring for it. Before that he’d defended him, looked out for him, saved his life more than once. Was it really so far-fetched that Damon might have actual feelings for him? Or was he just hurting and reached out to the only friendly face? He just wished he knew. Until he had the answer to that question, he had no idea where to go from here. 

Damon was asleep almost the moment his head hit the pillow. It had been a long few days. He was just glad that his brother was already in bed when he got here. He could do without the in-person inquisition to go with the incessant text messages. When he woke up, the first thing he did was call Bonnie for a new daylight ring. “What happened to yours?” Bonnie asked suspiciously. 

“I lost it,” he told her, somewhat truthfully. He had lost it to an unscrupulous witch who made it part of the bargain to save the man he loved. That was a thought that he was still trying to wrap his head around, but he put it out of his mind for the moment. 

“How could you lose something like that?” Bonnie asked incredulously. 

“It’s a long story. Will you make me another one or not?” Damon sighed. 

“Fine. I’ll be there in a little while. I hope you have a ring because I don’t have any men’s rings,” Bonnie told him. 

“I’ll find one before you get here,” he told her, already heading to the storage room where all the family jewelry was. He doubted he’d find one as nice as the one he lost, but there had to be something that would do the trick. He immediately passed over his father’s signet ring, not touching that one with a ten-foot pole, but he was surprised to find what must have been his Uncle Dante’s. At least it still had a D on it, even if it was much tackier than he preferred. 

He winced when he saw Elena and Stefan talking in the living room when he went down to meet Bonnie and had to deal with another twenty questions about what happened to his old ring. Finally, he agreed to tell them the whole story once Bonnie got here and got him set up. That way he only had to tell it once. He wasn’t saying a word until he had the daylight ring back though. He didn’t want to risk getting Bonnie’s dander up over going to another witch. 

It only took Bonnie a few minutes to get the ring spelled and once he tested it, he went to sit down and tell the story. “I took Ric to another witch I know to see if she could help him, but she wanted my ring as part of the payment.” 

“You went to another witch?” Bonnie asked hurt. 

“Yes. I did. Because you are young and untrained and I wanted a second opinion from someone older and more seasoned,” Damon told her refusing to apologize for it. 

“Was she able to help him at least?” Elena asked hopefully. 

“Yeah. She got him back to normal. Otherwise I wouldn’t have given up the ring,” Damon told her. 

“How?” Bonnie asked. “I couldn’t find anything other than the herbs that apparently didn’t work so well.”

“She’s not the same kind of witch,” Damon chuckled. 

“What kind of witch was she?” Stefan asked dangerously. 

“The voodoo kind,” Damon admitted. “And before you lecture me on dark magic, it worked and I don’t regret it so any disparaging remarks will be completely useless.”

“Why did she want your ring though? For another vampire?” Bonnie asked, not caring what kind of witch it was as long as it worked and he was right that she would never look for darker stuff herself. 

“Probably to study the spell work,” Damon shrugged. “But that’s why we didn’t get back yesterday. We had to stop before the sun came up and wait out the day.” 

“Well I’m glad he’s back to normal at least, regardless of the means,” Elena said, derailing Stefan’s rant before it could start. 

“And I’m glad that I have my freedom back. I think I’m going to go enjoy the sun for a little while,” Damon chuckled and headed outside. It was amazing how quickly you could miss something when you lost it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No offense is mean to anyone who practices voodoo. I personally find it to be a rich and interesting religion, but I'm going with what the show implies.


	5. Chapter 5

Damon was sitting on the porch rail, leaning against the post and sipping a glass of whiskey as he lost himself in thought. All about two people in particular. Ric and Elena. He’d heard that it was possible to love two people at once, but he’d never really experienced it himself before now and it was making him more introspective than usual as he pulled apart his feelings for the both of them to examine them for inconsistencies. 

He wondered how much of what he felt for Elena was because she looked like Katherine. He knew for a fact that it wasn’t all of it, but some was a definite possibility. Katherine had been his first love. His first everything. And he had spent almost a century and half holding onto those feelings so it was only natural that, upon learning that she wasn’t what he’d thought, his heart would turn to the next best thing. Sure, there was plenty that he loved about Elena that had nothing to do with Katherine, but he couldn’t deny that there was still something there. 

He considered when he first started feeling something for Elena. It was when she fought for him in Atlanta. She barely liked him but she had saved his life. No one had ever fought for him before that. No one had ever cared enough to. Not even Katherine. That had struck him deeply, but he knew now that it was just the way Elena was. She would fight for anyone and everyone. He wasn’t special to her. Not in the way he wanted to be. It was the same with her seeing something worth saving in him. She just had a habit of seeing the good in people and he had let his heart convince himself that he was special to her. Just like he had with Katherine. Well that was a mistake he didn’t intend to repeat. 

Sure, he might end up getting her in the end. Maybe even all to himself without Stefan in the picture, but how much would it really be worth at that point? If it was just a matter of wearing her down. She’d known how he felt about her almost from the start, but it hadn’t stopped her from taking advantage of him at every opportunity. She leaned on him when Stefan wasn’t here and he had even let himself believe for a while that they could have something, but he knew better now. If she really cared about him the way he wanted her to, she would have come to him before. At the very least after the kiss they’d shared that first time. When he wanted to do something to feel guilty about. But she had let him walk away. She might fight for his life, but she wouldn’t fight for /him/. 

Ric was different. Ric had been there from the start. Well once they’d made peace anyway. Sure they had their ups and downs, but even when Ric was pissed at him, he never hesitated to come when Damon needed him. Ric asked him not to walk away. Ric was /his/ rock. He had fought for him too. Saved his life more than once, just as he’d saved Ric’s. They were a team and a damn good one. Partners. Wasn’t that what love was all about? He didn’t have to wonder if he was special to Ric. It had been painfully clear that he was. Unless he was just fooling himself again. Being just as stupid as he’d always been. Wanting it badly enough that he saw things that weren’t there. 

That was the big question. Between Katherine and Elena his heart was so battered right now that he didn’t know how much more he could take. Could he really risk it again? Could he take the chance? Did he have a choice? The moment he first kissed Ric it had been like all the pieces of his life slotting into place. It was one of those moments where everything suddenly makes perfect sense and he knew then that he was exactly where he wanted to be. Where he /needed/ to be. Could he even consider walking away from that? It wasn’t the powerful explosive love that he’d felt for Elena and Katherine, but it was just as consuming in a different way. In a better way. 

Damon hadn’t come to a conclusion on what to do about Ric yet by the time that Elena came out, but he knew what he had to do about her, so when she asked if they could talk he easily agreed. “Me first,” he told her, not wanting to risk her saying what he once wanted so badly to hear, but now wouldn’t be able to stand. 

“Okay. Go ahead,” she told him. 

“I know that I said that I wasn’t going to make this easy for you this time, but it turns out that I am,” he said with a sigh. 

“If this is about the witch…I get it,” Elena told him. She didn’t count that as him lashing out and doing something stupid. 

“It’s not,” Damon shook his head. “What I mean is…I’m bowing out.” 

“Bowing out?” she asked confused. 

“Yep. I’m taking myself out of the equation. I don’t care anymore who you decide you want. I’m walking away. I’m done.” 

“But…” she was even more confused than ever now. She thought he loved her. That he would do anything for her. And now he was just giving up. Out of the blue. Just as she was starting to figure things out. 

“I can’t live like this anymore, Elena. With you ripping my heart out and tearing it to shreds every time I turn around. With this whole hot and cold thing you have going on. I don’t care if you have feelings for me or not anymore because it doesn’t matter. Stefan can have you. I’m done playing this game.” 

“I’m not playing games, Damon,” Elena said, hurt that he would even think that. 

“Maybe you’re not intending to, but you are. And I’ve been a lovesick fool following you around like a puppy desperate for a belly rub only to get kicked in the teeth every time. I’m done being the pathetic doormat that I’ve been for you for the last six months and if you do start to have feelings for me, then that’s the guy you like and I can’t and won’t accept that.”

“So…what? You’re saying that you’ve been pretending to be something you’re not? That’s not true, Damon,” she shook her head. She’d seen behind the curtain now, and there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she’d been seeing the real him these last few months.

“No, I’m saying that I’ve been too worried about being what you need that I’ve started to lose touch with who I am. Yes, there is a part of me that is like that and that’s the part of me that’s been at the forefront in this whole mess, but there’s so much more to me than that too and you’ve made it painfully clear how you feel about /that/ part. Because you know what, Elena? I am brash, and impulsive, and I have a cruel streak. And I lash out when I’m upset. That’s who I am. That’s who you’ve made it clear that you can’t accept. You can’t just take the good parts and leave the rest.”

“I get that, Damon, but that doesn’t mean that you always have to be that way…”

“No, see. That’s exactly the problem,” Damon said with a sigh, setting his now empty glass down on the rail to fill it back up. “You want to change me. You want me to be better. You want me to be more like Stefan. Well, I’m not. And I’m never going to be. I filled his role while he was gone because that was what you needed and I loved you enough to be that for you, but I won’t step into those shoes forever. I won’t repress an entire side of my personality like he does. I need someone who wants me for /me/. Not for who they want me to be. I am who I am and I don’t need or want to be fixed.” 

Elena sighed heavily and nodded. “Okay. I understand.” She didn’t really. Not completely anyway. She had a lot of thinking to do about everything he said before she could even begin to make sense of her feelings. 

“Okay, so…it’s your turn now. What did you want to talk about?” Damon asked her. 

“Never mind. It’s not important anymore,” she said with a shrug before heading to her car which was apparently why she was leaving before she noticed him. 

No sooner than she drove off, Stefan came out. “What game are you playing, Damon?” 

Damon sighed and resisted the urge to throw something at him. “I’m not playing any games, Stefan. Not anymore.” 

“So you’re telling me that if she chose you right now, you would turn her away?” Stefan asked skeptically. 

“Yes. I would,” Damon said seriously. 

“I don’t believe you,” Stefan said bluntly. “You’re always playing some kind of angle.”

“I don’t care if you believe me or not,” Damon huffed as he handed the bottle and glass to Stefan. “But I’m headed somewhere that I can drink in peace.” At least at the grill people left him alone to his thoughts for the most part. Well all but one person and that was one person he could handle seeing right now.


	6. Chapter 6

When Ric woke up, it dawned on him what he’d actually done. That he had taken advantage of Damon when he was hurting and vulnerable. That he had used Damon’s desire to be loved against him. God how could he have been such an asshole. No wonder Damon’s feelings had been so jumbled up. Ric felt like such an idiot and he had no idea how to fix this or even where to begin. Maybe taking a little time away would be best. Give them both a chance to get their heads on straight before trying to get back to their friendship. That was the best idea he had at least. Which was why when he got a text from Damon later inviting him out for drinks, he replied that he was busy. 

Damon frowned at his phone when he got the reply message, but forced himself not to read too much into it. Yet. Over the next two days it was impossible not to though and he was at least a little drunk when he found himself knocking on Ric’s apartment door. “Damon?” Ric said in surprise when he answered. 

“We need to talk,” Damon said firmly. 

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea,” Ric said nervously, not moving from in front of the door. 

Damon pushed his way in anyway and slammed the door behind him. “Tough, because I have something I need to say and I need you to hear it.” 

Ric sighed, realizing that Damon wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Okay. Say what you need to say.”

“I am so beyond done with all this hot and cold crap,” Damon snapped. “I am done with the games. Being treated like a damn toy that people can use and then just stuff back in a box. I love you, Ric but you need to make a choice. In or out. And stick with it.”

“Did you tell Elena the same thing?” Ric couldn’t help but ask. 

“No, actually,” Damon said. Before Ric could work himself into a rant about that, Damon continued. “She didn’t get the choice. I made it for her. Walked away. You /do/ get a choice, but damnit Ric, don’t you dare come to me unless you’re sure,” Damon growled before walking back out the door and slamming it behind him. 

Ric winced at the sound of the slamming door and realized that he’d screwed up. Again. By trying to give him some space, he had inadvertently done the same thing that Elena did. He hadn’t been trying to push Damon away though. He just wasn’t sure how Damon really felt and didn’t know if he could risk his heart like that just for Damon to turn around and run to Elena the minute she called. He didn’t think he could stand being second best in Damon’s heart. Wondering when it would all come crashing down. He’d already lost so much. He didn’t know how much more he could take. 

Ric realized that Damon had lost a lot too. That Damon was also at the end of his tether there. Damon was also scared and unsure. But he had come here anyway. Made his choice clear. Told him that he loved him even. If Ric could believe it. He didn’t know if he could, but at the point they were now they could circle this issue forever and never get a resolution. Someone had to make the leap and Damon had just thrown him the ball. He knew that Damon had been right to though. Ric had been the one pulling away. He had basically offered Damon everything he wanted and then pulled back. Damon had jumped in from the start. That had been what scared him so much. Damon was reckless and impulsive. He leaped before he looked and Ric didn’t want to be just another mistake in the long list of Damon mistakes. 

Maybe he wouldn’t be though. Maybe this would be the one. Maybe Damon really was sure this time. The big question was whether he could live with himself if he didn’t find out. If he walked away. If he didn’t take the chance. That was an easy question to answer and he grabbed his coat before heading out the door. He drove by the grill on the way to the Salvatore house just to see if Damon was there, and when he saw Damon’s car out front, he pulled in. When he walked in and saw Damon sitting at the bar, tossing back shots, he knew what he needed to do. If he was going to get out of the doghouse, he needed a big gesture. 

Ric walked over and put his hand on Damon’s shoulder, waiting until he turned around to look at him before he took the vampire’s face in his hands and kissed him firm and deep. Damon’s hands came up and wrapped around his wrists as he kissed him back almost desperately. When Ric pulled away he rested his forehead against Damon’s, completely ignoring the way that all sound had stopped in the building. He knew that everyone was probably staring at them, but he didn’t care. “There. Now the whole town will know soon enough. That ‘in’ enough for you?” 

“That depends,” Damon breathed out. “What exactly will they know? That I got played for a fool publicly or…”

“That I love you,” Ric said shakily. “That I want you. That I’m yours.” 

Damon stood up from the barstool, crashing his lips into Ric’s and sliding his hands into the taller man’s hair. “Come on. Let’s get out of here,” Damon said, grabbing Ric’s hand and dragging him to the door. Ric laughed happily and went along with it, even abandoning his car here when Damon led them to the convertible. 

Ric spent most of the drive praying to gods that he didn’t believe in and the only merciful thing was that it was so short. Once they were in the house, Damon pinned Ric against the door and kissed him again, already unbuttoning his shirt by the time his lips moved over Ric’s jaw and down to his neck. “D-Damon…not down here,” Ric breathed out and then found himself being half dragged up the stairs to Damon’s room. 

When Ric found himself pushed down on Damon’s bed, he barely had a moment to realize that this was the most comfortable bed he’d ever experienced in his life before Damon was on top of him. Ric kissed him back just as deeply as he shoved Damon’s jacket off his shoulders. This was so much different than the last time. This wasn’t slow and loving. This was pure unrestrained passion and Ric was taken aback at just how much emotion Damon was managing to pour into it. It didn’t take long before Ric’s head left the game and all semblance of control flew out the window and he was just surrendering himself to the sensations just as completely as Damon seemed to be. 

When Damon felt Ric losing himself, he smirked as his hands roamed the bare chest and his lips moved over Ric’s shoulders. Ric’s controlled, calculated touches turned to frantic gropes and lips were pressed against any bit of skin that came within reach. Damon moved down, pressing a long line of sloppy kisses down the toned chest and stomach while undoing Ric’s pants, taking the opportunity to remove his own as well. He reached into the bedside table and grabbed the lube before taking Ric’s leaking cock in his mouth. 

Ric was completely overcome with sensation even before Damon started sucking him and holy hell the things he could do with his mouth. All Ric could think was that he wanted more. Needed more. Needed all of Damon so when he felt the nudge against his thighs, he didn’t hesitate to spread his legs wide in invitation. When he felt the first long finger slide past the tight ring of muscle and straight for the sweet spot, he thrust up into Damon’s mouth with a wordless cry of pleasure. 

Damon had been expecting it, so he managed not to choke. This was far from the first dick he’d sucked after all. He had enough presence of mind to keep Ric back from the edge as he quickly prepped him. He wanted to be inside him when he came. Once Ric was ready, Damon slid back up his body, lined his cock up with Ric’s hole and slammed in with a choked moan as Ric let out a gasp of both pleasure and pain as he pulled Damon’s lips to his. Once he was moving, Damon set a hard fast pace, but not hard enough or fast enough to end this too soon. 

Both sets of hands and lips were moving where the passion took them as they drove each other to the brink and back more than once. They were both headed for the brink again when Damon breathed out, “Let me bite you?” and Ric could deny Damon nothing at this moment, so he tilted his head to the side in invitation. The moment Damon’s teeth sank into his neck and the first pull of blood left his body, Ric cried out his name as the most intense orgasm of his life slammed through him. He barely registered Damon’s guttural growl as the vampire filled Ric’s ass with his cum as well. 

Damon drank slowly as they both rode out the waves before he stopped without taking too much blood. That wasn’t about sating hunger. He retracted his fangs and then used his lips and tongue to clean up any mess, keeping his face resting in Ric’s neck as they both tried to catch their breath.


	7. Chapter 7

Once his brain re-engaged, Ric breathed out, “You bit me,” accusingly as he ran a hand through Damon’s hair, letting him know he wasn’t exactly mad about it.

“And you liked it,” Damon chuckled with a smirk lifting his head to look at his lover. 

“Y-yeah. I didn’t think I would, but…”

“A bite from a vampire can be the most terrifying thing in the world, or the most arousing. It all depends on the situation and the intent. The best orgasms always come that way,” Damon explained smugly. 

“But you asked first…something tells me you don’t usually,” Ric said, trying to figure Damon out, and hopefully get a clearer picture of where they stood. 

Damon gave him a quick kiss before rolling to the side and propping up on his elbow. “No. I don’t. I usually just take. But you’re different.” 

That comment gave Ric the courage to say what he needed to say. What he’d been intending to say from the start before Damon dragged them to bed instead. “I need you to know, Damon, that I wasn’t pulling away from you because I didn’t want you. Or because I regretted sleeping with you.”

“Then why?” Damon asked curiously, trying to keep the vulnerability from his voice, but not quite managing. 

“A lot of reasons. I felt like I’d taken advantage of you when you were hurting and vulnerable…”

Damon snorted amusedly. “I’m not some blushing teenage girl, Ric. You can’t ‘take advantage’ of me unless I let you.” 

“And that’s the problem. That you did let me. I knew how much you wanted to be loved and accepted and I used that against you.”

“So…what? You’re saying you didn’t mean it?” Damon asked tensely. 

“No, I did,” Ric said quickly. “I meant every bit of it. But I also knew how much you loved Elena and how much she hurt you. I shouldn’t have…”

“If you really think that I would have let anything happen there if I didn’t want it to, then you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” Damon interrupted. “You want to know why I really slept with you that day?” He was going to put a stop to this whole Elena issue right now and if it meant baring his soul, so be it. 

Ric looked at him curiously and nodded. “Yeah…” 

“Because the moment I first kissed you, it was like I found everything that I’d spent my whole life looking for and I couldn’t believe how blind I had been to have missed it for so long. When you told me not to walk away…that was it for me.” 

“But you can’t get over your feelings for Elena just like that,” Ric pointed out worriedly. 

“You’re right. I can’t. And some part of me will probably always love her. She was the first person who ever fought for me. Who ever saw something worthwhile in me. That meant a lot to me and I latched onto her because of that. She represented hope. And then ripped it away at every opportunity and tore my heart out.”

Ric reached his hand up to brush over Damon’s cheek. “And I get that, Damon. Really. But I have to consider my own heart in this too. I don’t want you to choose me just because she hurt you too much. Because I’m willing to give you what she won’t.” 

Damon covered Ric’s hand with his own and turned to press a kiss to his palm. “That’s not what this is. In case you missed it before, I /love/ you, Ric. I knew that the moment I first kissed you. Elena or no Elena, I love you and you are my choice. Not because of what she did. Not because you care about me. But because /I/ care about /you/.” 

Ric wanted so badly to believe that, and hoped that in time he would actually be able to. Pushing the matter now would be pointless though. “I love you too, Damon. I have for a long time.”

“I wish you had said something,” Damon said with a sigh, laying down and resting his head on Ric’s shoulder. He knew why Ric hadn’t though. 

“Me too,” Ric replied, wrapping his arm around Damon and resting his head against the raven locks. “Me too.” Oh how much pain Damon could have been saved if he had. If he’d made it clear that Elena wasn’t his only chance for love and acceptance. It might have been a rockier road with him torn between them, not having been hurt so much back then, but it still could have saved them both so much heartache. Or maybe caused even more. Who knew, but he still wished he had taken the chance. 

It wasn’t long before they fell asleep, curled up together in Damon’s comfortable bed, and when Damon woke up alone the next morning, he almost wondered if it had been a dream. But no. The lube was still out on the nightstand and the pillow still smelled like Ric and he still had dried cum on him. He snorted and went to take a shower, finding that it had been recently used too. He knew he was usually a pretty heavy sleeper unless his danger sense was going off, but he was surprised that it hadn’t woken him up. 

By the time he got out of the shower, the doubts were hitting him again. Right up until he checked his phone and saw a message from Ric. ‘I didn’t want to wake you, but I had papers to grade. Wasn’t sure where things stand with your brother with everything going on so thought it would be best to avoid a confrontation and go home instead of waiting downstairs.’ Damon’s lips twitched in a smile. At least he hadn’t been abandoned without a thought. He sent back a message. ‘Probably smart. He’s being difficult,’ before he got dressed and went downstairs. 

Damon poured himself a drink and grabbed a book, sitting in front of the fire to read. He was surprised to hear the door open a couple hours later and looked up, wondering if Ric had decided to come back by, but when Elena stepped in, he just nodded at her in greeting. “Stefan is probably upstairs still,” he told her before going back to his book. 

“A-actually, I’m here to talk to you,” she said hesitantly. 

“Okay…” Damon said closing his book and setting it on the table. “What’s up? Got yourself in another pickle or something?” 

“Sort of,” Elena shrugged nervously as she sat down next to him. “I thought about what you said and you were right. I can’t just take the good and leave the bad. I can’t expect you to change. It’s not fair to either of us.” 

“I’m glad you realize that now,” Damon said, wondering if that was it. 

“But I also can’t just let you go either. I-I love you, Damon. And I won’t try to change you. I can accept you as you are.” 

Damon felt the irritation well up in him at that. She had completely missed the entire point. “Well you’re a day late and a dollar short there, princess,” he huffed as he took a sip of his drink and reached for his book. “That all you wanted?” 

“Please, Damon. I have to believe that it’s not too late to fix this. Can’t we just talk about it?” Elena asked hopefully. 

“Well it IS too late to fix it, Elena. There comes a point where the heart just takes too much of a beating to want to come back for more,” Damon said bluntly. 

“Look, I’m sorry about pulling away in Kansas and all, but…”

“You think that’s all this is about?” Damon scoffed. “You have done nothing BUT rip my heart out. Let’s start from when you found out that I was in love with you. You were so disgusted with even the idea of kissing me, which…okay. Fine. But did you really have to broadcast it so bluntly and stab me in the heart with it? You used me to get information on Katherine, knowing that I was trying to make up for being a dick and knowing all along that you had no intention of forgiving me. You manipulated me to get what you wanted and then threw me away like garbage.” 

“You killed my brother!” Elena snapped. She couldn’t be blamed for that. 

“And he was fine,” Damon pointed out. “I screwed up and I know that. But isn’t there a saying something along the lines of two wrongs don’t make a right? I was pouring my heart out trying to make up for it and you just snatched it out. And let’s not even get into how I felt when you kept trying to sacrifice your own life. That wasn’t specifically against me. Nor do I blame you for the kiss when I was dying. That was actually a nice thing to do. Grant a dying man’s last wish and all. Everything after that though…”

“What did I do?” she asked confused. 

“You wanted me to help you get Stefan back. Okay. That’s fine. He’s my brother and as much as sending you back into his arms hurt, I could live with that. But then you just kept asking for more. Leaning on me for comfort. Pushing me to be more like him. All the while pushing me away whenever you didn’t need me. When you asked me to train you, Elena…I almost broke then. I tried to say no, but then you asked me to do it for you. I tried to show you how bad of an idea it would be working so closely like that. I tried to make you see how much it would tear me apart, but you didn’t care. As long as you could feel better, I didn’t matter. Then when everything went to shit, you gave me hope again. You told me that you were going to let Stefan go. You looked me in the eyes and promised that we would be okay. Then when I kissed you the next day, you just let me walk away.” 

“I was shocked and…a little overwhelmed,” Elena tried to explain.

“I can get that, but you could have said something later. But the day after that…when you called me in hysterics…you needed me and I dropped everything to be there. And then you told me not to kiss you again. That ‘it wasn’t right’. So much for letting Stefan go. Then you told me that I couldn’t be trusted because I cared too much. That I was a liability. I was trying to protect you and you just threw it in my face.”

“Because I didn’t want your protection,” Elena pointed out. 

“Obviously,” Damon scoffed. “Then we come to the breaking point. The trip. /You/ kissed /me/ Elena. Way more than that even and you showed no signs of stopping it. If not for Jeremy…well…but then you pushed me away again. Worse you told me point blank that you were waiting for me to screw up. To become a monster again to you. Just so that it would be easier for you to throw me away yet again. How do you think that felt, Elena?”

“That’s not what I meant,” she said sadly. 

“Yes it is,” Damon snapped. “Just because you’ve apparently changed your mind, doesn’t mean that you didn’t mean it then.” 

“I’m sorry, Damon. I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again,” Elena said with tears in her eyes. 

“No. You won’t. Because I’ve taken that power away from you. Just like I took it away from Katherine. I wouldn’t hesitate to kill her if she showed up here. Now, I’m not that far with you obviously. I don’t want you dead. Katherine was deliberately cruel and old enough to know better. You’re just a confused teenager who can’t figure out what she wants.”

“I know what I want now,” Elena protested. 

“And like I said, it’s too late,” Damon told her. “I’ve moved on. And no matter what you think you feel, you can’t handle me.” 

“Yes, I can.” She couldn’t just give up on this so easily. Damon pushed people away when he was hurt. It was just what he did and she wasn’t going to let him this time. 

“You want to. That’s a very different thing. Even if you can ‘force yourself’ to accept the bad along with the good, I don’t want it that way. I want someone that ‘does’ accept me. For all of it. You don’t want my protection? Well it’s not in my nature to let anyone I care about put their life on the line. You /need/ protection because you constantly insist on throwing your life away and stopping you is a constant battle that I don’t need. I want someone who can take care of themselves and actually be /smart/ about it. Someone I don’t have to chase down to save their lives against their will constantly. I want someone who can be there for me just as much as I’m there for them, and we both know that’s not you. You have a lot of growing up to do, Elena, before you can even think of being able to handle being with someone like me. It just took me a while to see that. Go be happy with Stefan. He deserves you in a way I never will.” Damon knew that the only way to end this train wreck was to walk away, so he picked his book back up and headed to his room, confident that she wouldn’t follow him.


	8. Chapter 8

For a moment, Damon thought he was wrong about Elena following him when he heard her coming up the stairs, but then she continued up towards Stefan’s room and snorted derisively. Just more proof that he’d done the right thing. Unfortunately, he would always be left wondering if she was going to go back to Stefan or walk away from them both because Stefan didn’t even let her get a word out before telling her that he heard everything. Damon didn’t feel bad about it though. He had warned her that Stefan was upstairs and she knew how well vampire hearing worked. He felt bad for her though when Stefan gave her the short shrift and sent her on her way. He couldn’t blame him though. Who wanted to be second choice? He just didn’t think his brother had it in him. 

Damon got a few pages of his book read before he was interrupted when his brother stormed into his room. “Ever heard of knocking?” Damon chuckled, not letting Stefan see how close he was to snapping. 

“Are you happy now, Damon? Was this your plan all along?” 

“You’re gonna have to be a little less vague, brother,” Damon smirked. 

“Getting Elena hooked on you to take her away from me and then break both our hearts? Part of your whole eternity of misery thing and she’s…what…collateral damage?” Stefan asked heatedly. 

“On the contrary, Stefan. Not everything I do is about you. None of this was about you. It was about me having enough of being pushed around and treated like crap. Her decision was not my fault. I told her not to make it, if you’ll remember. I told her I was done. She’s the one who chose not to listen. You’re the one who chose to let her walk away. Don’t expect an apology from me for any of this because you won’t get one,” Damon snapped, putting his book down and walking out of the room. And the house. If he didn’t get some space he was going to snap and someone was going to end up dead. He got in his car and just drove around for a couple hours. 

Elena left the Salvatore house in tears and she had no idea where to go. She couldn’t talk to Caroline or Bonnie or even Matt about this. They all hated Damon and would call her an idiot for choosing him in the first place. She suddenly made a sharp turn as she realized the one person she could go to. Someone who liked both Damon and Stefan and could give her some real advice. When Ric let her into the apartment she sat on the couch and put her head in her hands. “What’s wrong?” he asked her worriedly. 

“I need some advice and I didn’t know where else to go,” Elena said sadly. 

“Well you know I’ll be happy to help in any way I can,” he said as he sat down next to her. “What happened?”

“Well I went to talk to Damon. I told him that I loved him and that it was him that I wanted to be with. That I chose him…”

Ric felt his heart constrict. Of course, she would be coming to him for Damon advice. Because this situation could just use a little more drama in it. “I thought Damon told you that he was bowing out and didn’t want to be your choice anymore?” he had to ask. 

“He did, but…I thought it was just him playing hard to get or something. Like a new level to the game of chasing me.”

“You think him chasing you was a game?” Ric asked incredulously. 

“Well…no…not really…but kind of. I mean…I know he loved me, but…”

Ric shook his head wondering how she could be so naïve. “Yeah. He does love you. But nothing about that was ever a /game/ to him.”

“No. He loved me. Past tense,” Elena sighed. “He told me that I was too late and threw out all these reason why we could never work and why he doesn’t want me and I couldn’t handle him and all this stuff.”

The icy hand around Ric’s heart loosened at that. It looked like Damon really was serious about choosing him. That just made him even worse to get advice from though. “I’m really not the best person to be talking to about this,” Ric said uncomfortably wondering why Damon hadn’t told her about them. 

“I don’t have anyone else. Everyone else hates Damon and would call me an idiot for choosing him in the first place. I just…I don’t know if I should keep trying and fight for him or just let it go. I mean, maybe he’s just doing that thing he does of pushing people away when he’s hurting, but he seemed pretty serious…”

“I think he was serious, Elena. And the reason I’m not the best person to talk to about this is because Damon and I are together,” Ric said bluntly, not seeing any other way out of this. At least he thought that he and Damon were together. It hadn’t been said in so many words, but it had been heavily implied. 

“Wait, what?” Elena asked incredulously feeling betrayed. “You’re the one who kept telling me to figure out my feelings for him.”

“Yeah. I did. Because seeing him hurting so much all the time was killing me. Then you went on that trip and I hoped for some kind of resolution, but he came back more broken than ever. I wasn’t about to let him keep thinking that he wasn’t worthy of love and that no one could ever care about him.” 

“So you decided to swoop in while he was vulnerable?” Elena asked irritated. 

“No, I wanted to help him. I didn’t intend for things to go as far as they did. I never expected them to, but they did, and I’m not sorry for that.”

“How can you even care about him like that. He killed you. Twice!” 

“Three times actually, but the last time was psycho me so he could get me to the witch that fixed me so it doesn’t really count,” Ric shrugged. “The first time doesn’t really count either since that was back when I still hated him and was trying to kill him. The second time hurt though and it took me a while to get over it, but I did because I get it. I get /him/.”

“What do you mean?” Elena asked confused. 

“You can really learn a lot about someone when they’re drunk,” Ric chuckled. “Especially someone who talks as much as Damon does. What you need to understand about Damon is that he is the way he is because he has been pushed around, betrayed, abandoned, hurt, and even killed by every single person his extremely long life that he’s ever cared about. At some point he decided to stop being the victim and start pushing back. No, he doesn’t always do it in the best of ways and he’s done some pretty horrible things because of it, but the only thing he’s ever wanted…his greatest dream…has just been to be loved. To matter to someone. To be accepted and cared for.” 

Elena felt even worse hearing that. She had been one of those that did all those things to him. The only one she hadn’t done was kill him and even that was close a couple times. To know how badly he just wanted to be loved though. And she could have had that if she hadn’t been so stupid. “But…if you loved him then why would you try to get me to give him a chance?” Elena asked more confused than ever. 

“Because he loved you. And sometimes loving someone means letting them go. I wanted him to be happy,” he told Elena. “But you hurt him one too many times. If you really want my advice, Elena…Let him go. And I’m not saying that because I want my chance with him. I’m saying that because if you keep chasing after him, you’ll end up the one being hurt. When Damon loves it’s completely, but once he gives up, it’s done. There’s no going back.” 

Elena nodded sadly, tears streaming down her cheeks as she got up and left, bumping into Damon on the stairs which just made her tears flow harder. She couldn’t even get out a word to him as she just rushed by. 

Damon sighed heavily as he continued up to Ric’s apartment. “I’m guessing you need this as much as I do given who I just ran into on the stairs,” he said wryly holding up the bottle of bourbon as Ric let him in. 

“You have no idea,” Ric said wearily as he reached out to take it. 

Damon pulled it out of his reach and used his other arm to pull Ric in for a lingering kiss. “I needed that, too,” Damon smirked before handing Ric the bottle. 

“So did I,” Ric said with a chuckle as he grabbed the glasses.


	9. Chapter 9

As they plopped onto the couch with their drinks, Damon leaned against Ric’s side, drawing comfort and calm from his presence and Ric wrapped an arm around him. “At least you only had to deal with one difficult and awkward confrontation,” Damon said with a sigh.

“Oh?” Ric asked curiously. 

“Once Elena left, Stefan barged into my room all pissed off throwing around accusations,” Damon muttered. “That’s why I figured coming here would be better than going out to drink. The next person to piss me off is likely to end up dead.”

“Good thinking. Best to stick around the person with the magic ring,” Ric partially joked. 

Damon turned to look at Ric seriously as he said, “You know I wouldn’t do that again, right? I mean, I know I have in the past, but things are different now. I don’t hurt the people I love. Even when they deserve it.” 

Ric leaned in for a soft kiss. “I know, Damon. I was kidding.” 

“Okay. Good,” Damon said with a half-smile. 

“Was there a reason you didn’t tell Elena about us?” Ric asked, trying not be insecure about this, but not completely succeeding. 

“Because it wasn’t about you. Or us. And I didn’t want to give either of you the idea that it was. I rejected her because it was the right thing to do for me. Not because I love you,” Damon explained. “I didn’t expect her to come crying on your shoulder over it though or I would have.” 

“Yeah, that wasn’t the most pleasant discussion of my life,” Ric scoffed. “But I get your point. And thank you for that.”

“I didn’t tell Stefan either, by the way, but that was mostly because he was more interested in throwing out accusations than actually hearing anything I had to say,” Damon told him. 

“Makes sense…so I take it Elena dumped him before coming to you?” Ric asked, trying to figure out how the whole thing happened in the first place if Stefan was involved. 

Damon scoffed. “Not likely. After I rejected her, she went to Stefan who heard everything we said…and let me tell you she didn’t take no for an answer very easily from me. Stefan sent her packing too though. Didn’t want to be second choice and all. Can’t really blame him there. That’s when she left and Stefan came after me.”

“What kind of accusations did he have? I mean…it’s not like you did anything wrong,” Ric asked confused. 

“Ruining his life and relationship on purpose when I didn’t want Elena anyway yadda yadda. Typical Stefan tantrum,” Damon rolled his eyes. 

“Wow. Yeah. Sounds like you had a rough day,” Ric said sympathetically. 

“No kidding. And it all started with waking up alone,” Damon pouted theatrically. 

Ric laughed and kissed him again. “So sorry. Should I have stuck around to make the confrontations even more dramatic?” he joked. 

Damon chuckled and shook his head. “I just mean waking up alone after an amazing night is never a good omen.” Granted if Ric had been there, they might have been obvious enough to keep Elena from making her little choosing him speech to begin with and avoided the whole thing, but there was no point playing the what if game and neither of them needed any more drama that would bring up. 

Ric grinned. “You do remember that I’m a teacher right? Unless you want to start getting up at the crack of dawn every day, you should probably get used to waking up alone.” 

Damon scrunched up his nose. “Have you ever considered the idea of night school?” Damon asked mock-hopefully as he could feel the weight of the day falling off his shoulders. 

“Yeah, nice try,” Ric said amusedly as he poured them both another drink. 

“Well…I mean…you are dating a vampire now. We’re creatures of the night, don’t you know?” Damon teased. 

“Well you’re dating a human and we’re creatures of the day,” Ric teased back. 

“Okay, but does the day really have to start so early?” Damon pouted playfully. 

Ric kissed the pout away before saying, “According to the school board, yes.”

“I could always compel them…”

“Don’t even think about it,” Ric laughed and shook his head. 

Damon took a turn for the serious again and laid his head on Ric’s shoulder with a sincere, “Thank you.” 

Ric wondered if he would ever get used to Damon’s rapid mood swings or if he was always going to be playing catch up. Not that he minded. It kept things interesting at least. “For what?” 

“Being here. Loving me. All of it,” Damon said with a happy sigh, lacing his fingers with his lover’s.

“Always, Damon,” Ric said with a smile, pressing a kiss to his head. 

“You can go back to your grading papers now. I’m feeling much less homicidal. I wouldn’t mind staying here and reading for a while if you don’t mind though.” Damon didn’t really want to go home right now. Not when it would mean dealing with his brother. Not when the other option was being with Ric. 

Ric hesitated for a few minutes. On one hand, he really needed to finish grading these papers before tomorrow, but on the other, spending more time with Damon was an even greater need. Then he had an idea. “Pick a book,” he smiled at Damon as he got up and went over to his desk. He grabbed a large book himself and the stack of papers to grade and headed back to the couch, using the book to write on against the arm of the couch. Once Damon picked a book he came back over and laid down with his head in Ric’s lap. 

Ric smiled and ran a hand through Damon’s hair, only taking it away long enough to make marks on the papers as he read through them and Damon was practically purring as he read his book. At one point Ric started laughing. “You might find this interesting,” he told Damon. “Apparently the civil war started because people couldn’t be civil to each other.” 

Damon burst into laughter. “Seriously? Let me see that,” Damon took the paper from Ric who let him have it and the more Damon read, the more amused he got. Ric wasn’t quick enough to stop him from grabbing the red pen from his hand and writing ‘F because you’re an idiot’ at the top of the paper. 

“Damon! You can’t call students idiots,” Ric took it back and started trying to mark through it. 

“Somebody needs to be honest with that kid,” Damon shrugged unapologetically as he laid his head back again, and Ric just snorted and moved his hand back to Damon’s hair as he tried to fix the paper. He left the F alone though. That part was fair. Truthfully the comment was fair too, but still not acceptable. Over the next few hours, Ric read some of the more amusing bullshit remarks from the papers to an amused Damon, but kept a firm grip on the papers and his pen. 

At one point, Ric couldn’t hold back the question that had been burning in his mind all day. “Are you going to want me to become a vampire?” 

“Yes,” Damon said simply, glancing from his book to Ric’s face and then back again. 

“What if I don’t want to be a vampire?” Ric asked worriedly. 

“You asked what I wanted,” Damon shrugged. 

“Would you do it anyway if I didn’t want it?” he asked a little more clearly. He knew that Damon tried to do that with Elena once, but she was literally about to die so it was a different situation. 

“No,” Damon shook his head, closing his book and marking the page with his finger. “I wouldn’t take that decision away from you, no matter how badly I want to spend eternity with you.” 

“Would you leave if I said no?” Ric asked softly, trying not to betray his fear. 

“I would have to leave town eventually. People would notice me not aging. But I would take you with me if you let me. As long as you want me, I’m not going anywhere,” Damon said earnestly. 

Ric gave a relieved smile as his hand moved from Damon’s hair over his cheek and the vampire leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering closed. “How about let’s give us a year before we start talking eternity?” he whispered. He wanted Damon to know that there was hope, but that he wasn’t going to just jump into anything now. The fact that Damon was good with that kind of commitment wasn’t surprising at all to him. Between his impulsive streak and the fact that he’d wanted this for so long, he would have been more surprised if Damon didn’t offer him forever. 

“You can have as much time as you want,” Damon said with a smile, running his hand up Ric’s arm lovingly. 

“A year,” Ric said again as he leaned down for a kiss before going back to his papers as Damon went back to his book.


End file.
